“I’m Leaving” - steps to take when leaving a church

By Jeff Wilson on Monday, April 16th, 2007

I’ve mentioned before that I’ve served on 5 different church staffs over the past 25 years.  That means I’ve said “I’m Leaving” four times.  Saying those words is never easy, at least it shouldn’t be, but it may be easier depending on your situation.  (Some staff members will know what I mean)

Here are some steps to take when you are leaving your church:

  • Make sure that your decision to leave is one that is God directed and not one based on feelings.  Don’t make a rash decision in the heat of a disagreement or during a difficult season.
  • Tell your pastor as as soon as possible.  Some make it easy to discuss leaving.  For others it would be best to not discuss leaving with them until you are sure God is leading you to leave.  Unfortunately some pastors think a staff member leaving is like a person committing treason and they treat them likewise.  (I really have a difficult time with this type of thinking.  But have actually experienced it personally.)
  • Be totally honest as to why you are leaving.  Don’t lie or stop from sharing your heart.  Your words can comfort and also help your pastor understand why you are leaving.  Share the good and bad, but do it privately if it is bad.
  • Work out an agreeable last day. (One strong suggestion: don’t stay longer than 2 weeks after the announcement has been made that you are leaving)
  • Ask for an opportunity to tell leaders within your particular ministry area before informing the entire church.  You’ve spent a lot of time with these people.  They deserve to be informed before the entire church. 
  • Tell the church only after you have told your pastor.  (Want to make a huge mistake, don’t follow this step!)
  • Expect people to react to your leaving in these ways:
    • Anger
    • Resentment
    • Withdrawal
    • Happiness
    • Fear
    • Excitement
    • A combination of sadness and joy
  • Be ready to feel like an outsider.  As soon as you announce that you are leaving you will begin feeling disconnected and left out of the loop.  Some of that is normal and some is necessary.  Just get ready for it.  It will happen.
  • Take time to explain what God is doing in and through your life.  Use this experience to help people understand how to hear God’s voice and encourage them to take whatever steps God leads them to take.
  • After you have gone, don’t continue to lead/meddle at your former church .  God has moved you.  He will provide leadership for them.  Focus on what God has called you to do not what He called you away from.

I hope this helps you if you are planning a move.  I’d love to hear what you think?

Comments

By Anon on April 23rd, 2007 at 8:06 pm

In some cases one ESCAPES. I’ve been in two churches where the Lord said to me, “You can’t put new wine in old wineskins.” One church had a leader that lied, told people to “shun” those that didn’t agree with him (not the Bible or each other…but with him). Shake the dust off and run…don’t look back is good advice but hard to do when you are a charter member.

By Rev.Winston C.Trumpet on May 7th, 2007 at 5:45 pm

Your advise has helped me to put things in perspective. I t was a blessing to me that you spoke from experience vs conjecture. Thank you for your openess and honesty and may God continually bless every effort of your hands.

By Min. Thomas Davis IV on May 14th, 2008 at 2:37 pm

Jeff,

Thanks for posting this advice regarding “leaving church.” I recently left a church that watched me grow and accept the call of a preacher. This is the common terminology used within the Baptist circles that I had been a part of for the past 10 years.

My former pastor is a good man but just had too many other things going on and as a result he could not devote sufficient time to minister training and other things that pertain to growth and development.

As a result I was not able to meet with him face to face so I opted to send written correspondence and voicemail. It’s was’nt my ideal way of handling this situation; but I had no other options at the time. As, a result I have recieved no response or acknowlegement of my attempts to communicate. This does bother me, but I kind of expected it. I just dont understand why after 10 years of exceptional voluntary service, time and money, I cannot at least have received an, “I wish you well,” or ” thanks for your service here…,” etc…

I am still seeking some answers to bring closure to this but I think you’re list to things to expect pretty much sums it all up for me…

Thanks again!

 

Leave a Comment