OK…here’s one of my biggest pet peeves.  Sooner or later someone is going to call about the person you fired and ask for a reference.  What ever you do….tell them the truth!

I’ve seen former staff members lie through their teeth about someone just to get them off their staff.  They’d rather lie about the person instead of having enough backbone to fire them.  This might possibly help the person being fired, but also help the church where they are currently serving and the one where they might go to serve.

I’ve also seen staff members crumple under pressure when someone calls asking questions about the person they have fired.  What good does it do the next church if you let a person who is lazy, unproductive, insubordinate, ____________ (you fill in the blank) leave your church and go and do the exact thing at another church?

We as leaders need to “Think Kingdom” here.  Your honesty, and also your decision to fire the person, might be the exact thing God designed to mold them into the person He wants them to be. 

Don’t back down, stand your ground, do what is right, and speak the truth in love.

OK….enough ranting here.  Have you ever experienced this in ministry?

Now that you’ve let the staff member go, you have a few more steps you need to take.   You need to inform the rest of the staff and in some cases the church of the decision. 

Not informing the staff and or church will create tension, unrest, fear, anxiety, and erode your leadership influence with them.  This is one thing I learned the hard way.

Here’s some things you can share when letting someone go:

• Let them know that the person is no longer working.
• Tell them this has been a decision that has been made over __________ many months.
• Share with them that you have been working with them to improve the situation.
• Tell your staff that this is not easy for you and you know it’s not easy for them.
• Let them know that you’re not out for blood.  This is one situation.  That unless they have been informed that they are not doing a good job, there is no need to worry.
• Pray for the person.

Things you CAN’T do:

• Share specific reasons for letting the person go.  There are privacy laws that you need to observe and follow.  Keep it general as much as possible.  But, there are times when you might just need to get specific.  (I’d suggest seeking legal counsel before you go down that road)
• Demean the person.  This is never productive for them or for you.
• Spin the situation. 
• Lie about the situation. 

The last thing you want to do is lie to the congregation.  Yes, I’ve seen that happen and it is not good.  It erodes trust in leadership, stifles ministry, and creates distrust among the remaining staff.

In most situations, tell the staff and the church as much as you can while protecting the person that is leaving as much as you can.  Yes, they were inadequate while they were there, but God can and might use them again in a different situation.

Don’t destroy the guy(gal).  Let them leave with some dignity, if possible.  Unfortunately, some just won’t leave quietly and you may have to share the whole ugly story.

No matter what happens you can go through a situation like this and after it is all over feel good about what you have done and the way you did it.

In Part 4 I’ll discuss one last item in letting someone go.  This one REALLY gets me fired up.

When I’ve done all I can do to help someone succeed and they still are not doing what is expected, it’s time to let them go.  So…how do you conduct that meeting?  Here’s what I’ve done in the past:

• Plan to meet with them at the end of the work day.
• Have your documentation with you at the meeting.  Times you have met with them, what you have discussed, performance reviews, plans for change, etc.
• Write out what you are going to say.  This will help you say what you need to say.  Nothing more, nothing less.
• Discuss the steps that have been taken to clarify their position and help them succeed.
• Share with them why you are letting them go.  Be specific.  God can use this to help them see character faults that need to be changed.
• Let them ask questions, but don’t get into an argument.
• Try and keep the meeting to 30 minutes max.
• Have someone there with you as a witness.  Don’t do it on your own! 
• Spend time affirming them as an individual and help them see qualities, traits, gifts, etc. that God has given them.  Don’t demoralize them or abuse them.  God loves them, you should too, and they should know it!
• Encourage them to seek God and understand what He has for them to learn from this process.  They probably won’t hear this, but it could be one of the greatest lessons in their life.
• End the meeting in prayer.

Sometimes this goes well.  Other times it goes south REAL fast.  I continually have to tell myself that “All I can do, is all I can do” in these situations.  I can’t control how they are going to respond or how they are going to feel.  I can control what I say and how I act.

In Part 3 I’ll discuss how to inform the rest of the staff and the church.  This is one step where mistakes are made that hurt the church and the individual.  I know because I’ve seen it done and made some mistakes myself.

Ok…here we go. 

So how does a church and or pastor remove a member of the staff?  Well, it’s not an easy and it shouldn’t be.  Steps should be taken over many months making sure you’ve done everything you can to make the situation work.  Others suggest taking time to hire and being quick to fire.  I agree with the first part of that statement and disagree with the latter part.

What steps should you take before you fire?  Here’s a few I have taken:

• Meet multiple times to clarify the job description and their performance. (We have staff reviews every 6 months at Henderson Hills)
• When something is done that is wrong, let them know as soon as possible.  Don’t wait.  Don’t let the bad stuff build up.  Deal with it when it happens.  It’s best for them, best for you, and best for the church.
• Give adequate supervision.  Don’t tell them they are doing bad and not give them feed back as to how to improve.  Help them develop a plan for improvement.  If they don’t follow it, it’s their fault, not yours.
• In my situation, I inform my supervisor that I’m having problems with a particular person.  This does two things: 1) it protects me, 2) I get a second opinion.
• Set a specific date to review their progress.  Again, we have staff reviews every 6 months.  This helps everyone know that there will be at least an update in 6 months.  I have set additional dates for review to help them along the process.

When all these steps don’t work, it’s time to make the decision to let them go.  My opinion is to work with them for a period of time to make sure they understand what is expected.  But, if there is no change, don’t prolong the inevitable.  Cut them loose.  It’s like continuing to date someone when you know it’s not going any further.  Stop the pain and end the relationship.  Buck up and let them go.

Letting someone go is never easy.  It’s not easy for me and I hope it never does become easy.  But, I have learned that when I’ve done all I can do to help them succeed and it still doesn’t work, I can let them go and then sleep at night.

In Part 2 I’ll discuss the actual meeting where you let someone go.

My mom had a hard time with this when I left for college.  My old girlfriends had a hard time when I broke up with them (at least that’s the way I remember it).  My first pastor had difficulty when I told him I was leaving to go to another church.  I had a hard time with it when my oldest son moved out of our house to go to college. 

Letting go is difficult.  But, sometimes we need to let go of some so that they will grow.  Staying where they are, doing what they are doing, might hinder them from becoming the person God intends them to become.

We have interns at our church.  Some interns have been easy to let go.  Some we actually helped to leave.  It’s been real difficult to see some go.  We have one, like the latter, getting ready to leave in less than a month, Kelly Callison.

Kelly has been our first Student Ministry Girl’s intern.  She is INCREDIBLE!  It’s been so neat to see God use her in so many ways. 

One such way just took place recently.  We had our first ever girls retreat.  Over 170 High School and Middle School teenage girls came to an overnight retreat at our church that Kelly planned, prepared, coordinated, and oversaw.  She enlisted a great team of leaders (a great leader always does).  It went off without any problems and we are daily hearing how God spoke to the girls that attended.

Kelly is leaving to go to another church located in San Antonio, TX.  She will be their Director of Girls in the Student Ministry.  How cool is that! 

Kelly, we’re proud of you.  You’re going to do incredible things in San Antonio.  They will be blessed to have you minister to them.  Continue to grow.  Continue to listen and obey.

Man this is hard.  But, I wouldn’t want it any other way.

Saying goodbye to bad staff member creates a real “opportunity”.  There are so many things that come into play in this situation.  Here are a few questions that I’ve personally had to deal with and I know there are at least a thousand more…

• Do you tell the congregation why they are leaving?
• How much do you tell?  Part of the story?  All of the story?  None of the story?
• Who do you tell?
• How can you keep unity among those that love the staff member leaving?  Do you need to worry about unity?
• How can you show grace, mercy, love, and forgiveness while still showing them the door?
• Do you try and protect the staff member?
• Do you try and protect the family of the staff member?
• Do you throw them a party?
• Give them a gift?
• Send them away like you do a “Good Staff Member”?

Oh, so many questions and so many answers.  Honestly, there is not a right or wrong answer to each of these questions. 

Here are a few things that I’ve done in this situation:

• Pray.  Pray.  Pray again. Pray more.  Pray longer.  Pray! Pray! Pray!  Am I getting the point across?
• Answer questions like Jesus would have answered them.  Tell the truth in love! Nothing more.  Nothing less.  No comments.  No opinions. Nothing more!
• Protect those that need protection.  (ie family members, the church, etc.)
• Treat them like Jesus would have treated them.  Send them off so that others will think they were a “Good Staff Member”.  Why would you do this you may ask?  Two reasons:
  • It’s better to be nice than a jerk. 
  • It’s easier to find their replacement if you have treated the person that just left in an honorable fashion.
• Don’t “spin” the situation!  If pressed, tell more of the story.  Notice that I didn’t say tell it all.  Just like you don’t have to tell a 4yr old everything when they ask, “Where do babies come from?”  You don’t usually have to tell everyone everything.
• Tell those that need to know what they need to know.  This would especially apply to the staff that is still employed.  When someone is let go or leaves on a bad note it affects EVERYONE left behind.  Trust me, it will take time for them to think and believe that they are not the next one to be let go.  Talk to them, Talk to them. Talke to them.  And then do it more than one time!
• When another church calls asking for a reference, BY ALL MEANS, tell them what happened at your church.  BUCK UP and don’t wimp out!  Don’t let someone else go through what you just went through.  Let them know the truth and decide if they want to move forward with them.  Far too many pastors and churches are hurt because someone from their last church didn’t “Speak the truth in love” (Eph 4:15) when giving a reference.  Ok, I’m done preaching….

Lastly, before you make a bad staff member’s leaving “An Event to Remember (in a bad way)” understand that there WILL be tidal waves to that tsunami.  Are you ready to ride them out?  Is that what will honor God?

I certainly don’t have all the answers to this difficult situation.  I’m just one person with my own thoughts and my own experiences.  But, I have had to deal with this type of a situation, and will probably have to again in the future.  If you are currently dealing with a “Bad” staff situation, I would HIGHLY suggest seeking Godly counsel from others before you take ANY drastic steps.

Hope these thoughts help!

I’ve mentioned before that I’ve served on 5 different church staffs over the past 25 years.  That means I’ve said goodbye four times.  Saying goodbye is never easy, at least it shouldn’t be.  In my experience there are two ways supervisors or pastors can treat a staff member who leaves, with dignity and honor or disgrace.  There are numerous scenario’s related to staff members leaving, but for this moment let’s try and tackle one scenario at a time.  Saying goodbye to a “good” church staff member.

When a staff member determines that it is time for them to move on, we as supervisors have some decisions to make that can impact not only the staff member leaving but the church and their future replacement.  If someone has done a good job, then we need to share what they have done with the church and let them leave feeling like a king or queen with honor and dignity.

Hopefully their decision to leave has been one bathed in prayer and they are confident that God is leading them to leave.  In fact, that’s one question that I specifically ask when someone says they are leaving.  I want to know if there are other reasons why they are leaving.  Some call this an exit interview.  If there are other reasons and they are leaving due to bad working conditions, I need to know and then either try to fix them before they leave or before the next person comes.  But if God is calling them somewhere else, who am I to stand in their way?

I’ve left a church feeling like a total failure due to how I was treated by the pastor.  I did everything I felt God wanted me to do, everything that the pastor asked me to do, and more.  Why did I feel like a failure then?  It had everthing to do with what was said and what was done during the time I announced I was leaving and my last day.  My decision was questioned by the pastor in front of the entire church.  I was made out to be a traitor for leaving.  I wasn’t even treated with the same respect as some former staff members that had stabbed the pastor in the back.  I was disgraced.  God was not honored.  The church was not edified.

When a good staff member decides to leave we need to support them, love on them, and model to the church that God calls people to do some things that make no sense and take us out of our comfort zone.  It’s a great teachable moment.  Don’t squander it.  Use it.  Challenge your congregation to listen to God and follow His voice.

If we treat someone the right way who poured their life out for the church while on staff, God is honored, the person leaves confident, they will be more likely to come back and visit, and your church will be challenged to listen to God and respond to His call. 

Make sure you do the right thing.  Honor those that serve the Lord with all their heart, soul and strength.  If you do, it will be easier to find the next staff member and you’ll have a friend for life.

Next time we’ll look at “Saying goodbye to a “bad” church staff member”

I’ve had the opportunity to serve on five different church staffs.  Each church has been very different from small, medium, and large, to rural, small town, and suburban.  Each pastor that I’ve served alongside has been very different and their leadership style has been one of the major differences.

One distinguishing mark of each pastor I’ve served with is their view of the staff.  Some have looked at their staff as hirelings.  Others have looked at the staff as worker bees.  Some have worked their staff to death…or until they finally couldn’t take it any longer and left.  Some haven’t led at all.  Many have viewed their staff in a way that is totally opposite of mine.

A particular difference is noted between my view and other pastors is what I would call “Staff Stewardship.”  Here’s what I mean.  I believe that we, pastors and supervisors, are given a great resource, our staff.  It’s our responsibility/privilege to invest, encourage, discipline, guide, and train them while we have them.  It’s not our job to push them to their breaking point, or beat everything we can get out of them until their used up. 

We have been given a gift.  We need to treat them like a cherished gift, loving them, getting to know them, investing in them, and helping them to become all that God intends them to become.  Anything less than that is being a foolish steward, not investing as the Master would have wanted.

So take a moment and ask yourself…”How am I investing, encouraging, disciplining, loving, and cherishing, this gift God has called me to steward?”  When you begin thinking of your staff in this light, God will begin to do some amazing things in and through them and you.

Next time I’ll share with you my views of how to treat a staff member when they leave…(just a hint…my view is not like most others)